Wishing someone you love would change  ? 

The most frustrating thing in life would be trying to understand someone, and why they do and say the things they act on. For many years I have caught myself asking what is wrong with this person? Or why can’t they just change ? How bad do things need to get for them before they see its time to change? Ugh I can’t phatom how many times I have asked those questions. I know a guy who had all the quality’s a woman would want. Caring generous, kind hearted, easy to talk to. Great personality,Great looks and had the Hero intentions for anyone. And yes every woman loves a man who comes to the rescue. But some things didnt add up. I mean he had all these quality’s but he lived a dark life as well. Alcoholic, bisexual, acted on things without fully identifying the conquences. Oh and if you got him MAD enough his words could cutt you like a sword. So here I am confused trying to understand how this man which such great quality’s and potential struggled so much to find his true identity. It was alarming and quite honestly upsetting. I mean over an over I wished this man would change his dark ways because he had so much to offer to the world. I tried to change him, I tried to make him see the light. The light of grace. But he is so blinded by sin and the inaccurate thoughts that haunt his mind he couldn’t take me serious. He lived such a way for so long, with the repeating impulsive behaviors. That thinking he could change at this point was impossible. But then I remembered a verse in the Bible that says ; And I quote All things are possible through Christ. Well okay thats a positive turn on things. So I started praying God please change this man. God change his ways from darkness to light. God change the man I so deeply love. But as time went by I seen little to No change in this man. And I thought well God, I have been praying about this man why haven’t you changed him. Why isn’t he home yet? Here where he is loved and needed? God if anything he has become an enemy in my mind. A poison I wish to be vaccinated from. God you said if I knock you will answer ? Why haven’t you answered. Then in a blink of an eye a sudden urge to read the word. God said to me, camie I asked you to pray for your enemies I asked you to love your enemies and trust in me that all things are possible through me. Camie I can not change someone just because you want me to. Camie he has to want it. He has to open his heart to me and surrender his dark ways so I can transform his ways into a man of Christ. So I said but God.. He has tried to come to you. He has prayed for a new life, he has walked his sufferings and tried to  surrender to you. But God? But what camie? I am his creator and master I say when he lives and when he dies I know the number of times he has prayed and when he has cryed. “Be still” my daughter I am working on my time not yours . you see my daughter each person deserves their own individual spiritual treatment  just because you can’t see what I am doing doesn’t mean I am not doing it. I have wiped his tears I have held him when he fell I carried him when he thought he couldn’t walk anymore. I weaped when he made mistakes but I didnt disappear. He is my son and I will carry him as far as he needs me to. But God? How can you be so sure? I mean I see him everyday he doesn’t seem any different he doesn’t care that he is so far gone from reality of facing his fears! and God he doesn’t care anymore. Camie :  I know the numbers of hairs on his head I know the steps he will take before he even takes them. Dont you think your father god of all the land knows what he is doing . Do not be blinded by just what you see do not lean on your understanding for it is not your job to change him . but I need you only to continue to pray for him. “Wow wow”that conversation between God and I was a reality check you see my whole point is that we can’t change anyone . and its not that they dont Want to change. Its because with out God They cannot . God is the only one who can renew someone from the inside and out . It is beyond our knowledge to even begin to break a life time of patterns with out the spirit of God interfering in our daily life’s .So the best advice I can give is to pray for that person and stop draining your self,trying to change someone when its out of your control. Whether they know God or not. All we can do is pray and God will lead the rest. I suggest if someone is causing turmoil in your life. That you face that battle with bold determaintion and LET GO and LET God IN.

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