Its a catastrophic clash against Depression and satan. The innumberable thought’s of shattered records in our minds. Thoughts of Self-Destruction. Thought’s of Inferior. A reminder of the past and the times ahead. It’s Never living in the modern. Your mind is in constant rivalry. A silent killer I like to Add, that sneaks from behind. A silent murder that only you can see and feel. Its judging your figure in the mirror, wishing to be skinny. It’s second guessing yourself if your a Good mother. And will they remember the times you laid on the couch for hours in your sorrow not wanting to interact or engaged. Will they remember the times you ran into the bathroom just to get Away, Because the panic turned over like a dead body in a grave. Will they remember the tears and Shout’s. Will they ever understand that Im attempting to endure a hardship of broken peices just so I can go Day by day with out crawling on my knees. Am I good enough for them? Or will they grow to resent me because mommy never leaves the house. It’s a combat of blood sucking vultures lingering Around your Mind. It’s putting on a mask with a smile while saying “I’m OK.”I’m fine”. Its the sweaty Palm’s and fluttering heart while sitting at a appointment or going to The store. It’s the thought of never being well, the thought of powerless defeat. It’s second guessing everything. It’s watching as everyone gets ready for tommrow but your still living in yesterday. It’s despising yourself for being this way. It’s being so fragile you cry yourself to sleep. It’s inaccurate echoes from Satan that haunt your mind. It’s a scheme to throw in the towel. Its walking in public with your head down because your confidence is dreadful. Its the face of condolence and shame your friends give you. It’s hearing advice but nothing register’s. Because its unchallenging to Give up then to have to engage in a strive. It’s being weary but not fed up enough to alter Your Soul. Its Praying constantly but thinking its not sufficient . it’s pleading with God to Heal you, But only hearing the devil’s deceitful Whispers. Its living inside your intellect being But not In reality. It’s cry for assistance. It’s penetrating for a cure. It’s letting the enemy win. Its authorizing fear to take over. This silent killer will have you dreading the next day. Extreme fatigue of a troubled soul will torture you for days to come. It will linger for the next strike to put you down on your knees. Why your screaming for Satan to depart from your head. He wont flea for not even a moment untill you reach for that bible again. Its the feeling of chains secured on your wrist with his name engraved reading : This is my Child for Hell. And as repulsive and agonizing that may sound he’s pulling me until I hit the ground my wrists our bleeding my knees are ripped to shreds he’s pulling all the vitality out of me as he pulling me closer to hell. I’m Screeching for God to help I can feel my bones separating from my flesh. Its the feeling of your soul being ripped from your chest. Im screaming out Scripture I’m pleading my case to God. And in a blink of an eye reality sits in. I’m standing in the mirror looking at a young girl who use to be uncontaminated who had no fear. God said look at this girl who use to be so free before she signed her death certificate to the devil himself. Allowed him to put chains on her and drag her into hell. When I looked at this little girl I had seen her before (It was me). Hell!! what a peculiar word. Hell I can not see but depression became me. And thats close enough some will agree. To me depression is a medical term for weakness a chemical imbalance the doctors will say. And Satan is just a spirit of force we let in through time. He’s a thought of fear we indulge in. But God said to me: I have defeated this angel of death he can not take what is mine. Have faith little girl I’m working just give me time.