Sometimes in life we feel alone lost and without out a purpose. we can even feel like we are not apart of a physical family. A family here on earth. We feel like we belong somewhere else. I get that I really do like maybe the family I have physically isn’t really where i belong. Almost as if I was adopted. Well Truth is we are all Adopted. Let me explain. In Ephesians 1:4 God says he chose us! actually picked us out for himself as his own. In Christ before the foundation of the world. He planned for us to be adopted revealed as his own children through Jesus. Ephesians 1:4 is a wonderful scripture because in it the lord tells us that we are His, and he sets forth what’s he wants for us. Meaning we should know we are loved, special, and valuable. Reading this Scripture I found out I belong to someone so powerful so “breath taking” like a family of spirtual abilities. I mean how can we claim we belong somewhere here on earth when in Gods eyes we belong to him. Its like for example at the black sea their are logs that are shipped to the sea and millions of different businessman world wide would come and they would pick the logs they wanted they would then mark their symbol ( name) on the log and nobody could touch it or take it because it was owned and belonged to someone. That is what God did with us he picked us out amoung other logs he sealed his name on us so that we belong to him. Isn’t that so refreshing to know that we are so special that God literally picked us and sealed us with his name and holy spirit. So that we always belong to Him so that we never feel alone or misplaced in this world. I encourage you to say aloud “I belong to GOD”. And what is also amazing is that you and I we are no surprise to God. He knew exactly what he was getting when he chose us. God did not choose us and then get disappointed because of our inabilities. God has hope for us and believes in us and is working in us. So we can be the plan he destined for us. It’s a amazing feeling to know I was picked by God and sealed with his promises. I mean in the real world today when a woman conceives a child she doesn’t get to pick the gender or hair color or eye color she dosent get to chose. She is given what she is given. But if a man and woman go to a adoption agency they get to chose what child they want. They get to sit down and observe what their looking for. Kinda like what Jesus did with you! He picked you out and chose you and adopted you. I mean how much more special do you need to feel that God of all the world CHOSE YOU! we are all Adopted in Christ we are sealed and apart of a amazing plan. We have the power Jesus did when he died an came back. We have the eternity spirit that can heal our flesh bodies. If only we knew how truly precious we are to God. How powerful we truly are. The word, the truth that breaks down and tells us how capable and powerful we are as adopted children of God. How special I feel to be apart of a life of eternity blessings. And how much more amazing it would be to unlock the abilities that God gave us to be unbreakble and unshakeable Christians. I pray you find your purpose through Gods eyes. And I pray you understand that no matter how alone or unworthy or lost you get in this world. That you realize you were CHOOSEN! Sealed,stamped,and owned by the Greatest Powerful Loving God of life. God bless!
Is it the Broken Dreams you left behind ? Is it the Broken heart you wish to escape from? Is it the Broken home you came from? Is it the Broken spirit that time hasn’t healed? Is it the Broken family in your life? Is it the Broken mind set you battle with everyday? Is it the Broken body you fight with a illness? Is it the Broken marriage you pray to get help with? Is it the Broken path you chose to go down? Is it the Broken ties between a friend and yourself? Is it the Broken poverty you live in? Is it the Broken support you dont receive? Is it the Broken trust someone took along the way? Is it the Broken abuse you dealt with in your precious years? Is it the Broken kids you wished you raised better? Is it the Broken car that won’t start on your rushing days to work? Is it the Broken lies that people echoed into your mind? Is it the Broken betrayal that led you into pain? Is it the Broken past you can’t seem to leave behind? Is it the Broken promises a loved one swore by? Is it the Broken thought that this life isn’t for you? Is it the Broken faith you wish to cling to? Is it the Broken guard you let down? Is it the Broken passion in your love life? Is it the Broken will to continue to fight? Is it the Broken tears you wish to not cry? Is it the Broken mental illness you can’t phathom to live with? Is it a Broken Job that you can’t successed in? Or is it just the Broken thoughts of all the Brokeness in your life? Have you ever healed from your Brokenness?. Have you ever learned from your Brokenness?. Have you ever thought that it isn’t a Broken disaster, yet maybe deep in the root of all that hides within ourselves. That maybe its a Broken master piece. A master piece we are struggling to put together. And what if these Broken events occurred only to have more pieces to pick up and add to your master piece. What if your master piece is YOU. Would you be able to have a more hopeful perspective on it? What if I told you God allows some of the Brokenness to take place, In order for our temple to be remade. I mean wouldn’t it be nice to say that our Broken life our Broken paths, our Broken past was all part of Gods plan. Easier said then done right ? Well what if I said its easier done then said. I mean how many of us dwell on our pain and the negative hands we were dealt . Could you imagine for just a moment how much effort and time we focus on the Brokenness. Instead of the progress. HOW many of us have already survived the worse? And How many of us still have the worse yet to come?. And if for just a moment we were able to lay out our past, our present on to a table spread out like pictures an notes for a scrap Book.While observing each picture and each note or sticker and trying to determine where to place it in your scrap book. What if in the beginning of your scrap book you started with the Brokenness we have been talking about and then in the middle you scrapped the present the time now where maybe your not at complete victory quite yet but your content? If you could observe your Brokenness like a timeline in a scrap book.would you be able to see through out the road of time that your Brokenness in some way turned to a Master Piece. A Master piece of strength. A Master piece of abundance. A master piece of not so perfect shreds of pain that Sculptures your master piece of life, which built a foundation of who you are. Understand that not all Your Brokenness is a sign of trouble or disaster. But simply a trial to overcome to make you who you are today. Your character, your mind set, your body, your perspective of the world today. Your morals and values, your hobbies and passions. Your set backs are not a chain of weights that lingers behind to haunt you. But they are simply reminders of where you use to be and what you are capable of enduring. Own your Brokenness claim your ship of wrecks, because it is the deep foundation of who you are and where you will go. Some Brokenness are unforgettable. Some Brokeness we didnt even ask for. We were not dealt a easy life. But that doesn’t mean we cant embrace it . Instead of running or hiding or feeling insecure about our Brokenness. Why not accept it? And prove to each other that we are more then just a Broken heart Or a disease we wish a cure for. Or a Broken home we didnt ask to live in. God doesn’t make mistakes he doesn’t save us all the time from hardships, because he knows where it will take us. I’m a firm believer that my Panic disorder and Depression that I pray would go away. Is a Brokenness that I must go through to build a path of Testimony’s, to be a light to someone one day. To have remarkable strength and strong will, to over come Life’s challenges. My Brokeness of mental illness isn’t who I am but who I will become. I think about my times of pain and sorrow and guilt. And I realized that it makes me observant. It makes me cautious, an its good to be cautious in life. Not that we shouldn’t take chances but that they need to be led by God. I’m cautious to know if its from God. I’m more sensitive to other people. I amoung 4 million of other people in the world today can relate to the sufferings of a captivating imprionsed mind. I’m self aware. I’m wiser. I’m more stronger in my faith now then in my fears. So I can’t complain about my Brokenness or blame my Brokeness in my life. Because God reveals to me the victory in it. He tells me all things are temporary and that I’m made in the hands of father so genuine so Giving, that I Won’t fail. So embrace your Brokenness even if its the most Traumatic experience. Did you live? Did you make it through? Did you encounter a pain so DEEP it destroyed you inside and out. But if your reading this then God is showing you right now that you lived. You not only have to have faith in God, but you have to have faith in yourself. Your Brokeness can be put back together it may not look the same it may not feel the same but it is fixable and it will be unique and will have qualities that another persons Brokeness will not have. That is what makes your life and story extraordinary. If you can’t find peace right now from your Brokenness. If you can’t find positivity from your Brokenness then I would pray for God to show you how your Brokenness will turn into a battle of success. And I would pray that God shows you your victories through your troubles. It’s never too late to turn your Brokenness into a Masterpiece.
Its a catastrophic clash against Depression and satan. The innumberable thought’s of shattered records in our minds. Thoughts of Self-Destruction. Thought’s of Inferior. A reminder of the past and the times ahead. It’s Never living in the modern. Your mind is in constant rivalry. A silent killer I like to Add, that sneaks from behind. A silent murder that only you can see and feel. Its judging your figure in the mirror, wishing to be skinny. It’s second guessing yourself if your a Good mother. And will they remember the times you laid on the couch for hours in your sorrow not wanting to interact or engaged. Will they remember the times you ran into the bathroom just to get Away, Because the panic turned over like a dead body in a grave. Will they remember the tears and Shout’s. Will they ever understand that Im attempting to endure a hardship of broken peices just so I can go Day by day with out crawling on my knees. Am I good enough for them? Or will they grow to resent me because mommy never leaves the house. It’s a combat of blood sucking vultures lingering Around your Mind. It’s putting on a mask with a smile while saying “I’m OK.”I’m fine”. Its the sweaty Palm’s and fluttering heart while sitting at a appointment or going to The store. It’s the thought of never being well, the thought of powerless defeat. It’s second guessing everything. It’s watching as everyone gets ready for tommrow but your still living in yesterday. It’s despising yourself for being this way. It’s being so fragile you cry yourself to sleep. It’s inaccurate echoes from Satan that haunt your mind. It’s a scheme to throw in the towel. Its walking in public with your head down because your confidence is dreadful. Its the face of condolence and shame your friends give you. It’s hearing advice but nothing register’s. Because its unchallenging to Give up then to have to engage in a strive. It’s being weary but not fed up enough to alter Your Soul. Its Praying constantly but thinking its not sufficient . it’s pleading with God to Heal you, But only hearing the devil’s deceitful Whispers. Its living inside your intellect being But not In reality. It’s cry for assistance. It’s penetrating for a cure. It’s letting the enemy win. Its authorizing fear to take over. This silent killer will have you dreading the next day. Extreme fatigue of a troubled soul will torture you for days to come. It will linger for the next strike to put you down on your knees. Why your screaming for Satan to depart from your head. He wont flea for not even a moment untill you reach for that bible again. Its the feeling of chains secured on your wrist with his name engraved reading : This is my Child for Hell. And as repulsive and agonizing that may sound he’s pulling me until I hit the ground my wrists our bleeding my knees are ripped to shreds he’s pulling all the vitality out of me as he pulling me closer to hell. I’m Screeching for God to help I can feel my bones separating from my flesh. Its the feeling of your soul being ripped from your chest. Im screaming out Scripture I’m pleading my case to God. And in a blink of an eye reality sits in. I’m standing in the mirror looking at a young girl who use to be uncontaminated who had no fear. God said look at this girl who use to be so free before she signed her death certificate to the devil himself. Allowed him to put chains on her and drag her into hell. When I looked at this little girl I had seen her before (It was me). Hell!! what a peculiar word. Hell I can not see but depression became me. And thats close enough some will agree. To me depression is a medical term for weakness a chemical imbalance the doctors will say. And Satan is just a spirit of force we let in through time. He’s a thought of fear we indulge in. But God said to me: I have defeated this angel of death he can not take what is mine. Have faith little girl I’m working just give me time.
The most frustrating thing in life would be trying to understand someone, and why they do and say the things they act on. For many years I have caught myself asking what is wrong with this person? Or why can’t they just change ? How bad do things need to get for them before they see its time to change? Ugh I can’t phatom how many times I have asked those questions. I know a guy who had all the quality’s a woman would want. Caring generous, kind hearted, easy to talk to. Great personality,Great looks and had the Hero intentions for anyone. And yes every woman loves a man who comes to the rescue. But some things didnt add up. I mean he had all these quality’s but he lived a dark life as well. Alcoholic, bisexual, acted on things without fully identifying the conquences. Oh and if you got him MAD enough his words could cutt you like a sword. So here I am confused trying to understand how this man which such great quality’s and potential struggled so much to find his true identity. It was alarming and quite honestly upsetting. I mean over an over I wished this man would change his dark ways because he had so much to offer to the world. I tried to change him, I tried to make him see the light. The light of grace. But he is so blinded by sin and the inaccurate thoughts that haunt his mind he couldn’t take me serious. He lived such a way for so long, with the repeating impulsive behaviors. That thinking he could change at this point was impossible. But then I remembered a verse in the Bible that says ; And I quote All things are possible through Christ. Well okay thats a positive turn on things. So I started praying God please change this man. God change his ways from darkness to light. God change the man I so deeply love. But as time went by I seen little to No change in this man. And I thought well God, I have been praying about this man why haven’t you changed him. Why isn’t he home yet? Here where he is loved and needed? God if anything he has become an enemy in my mind. A poison I wish to be vaccinated from. God you said if I knock you will answer ? Why haven’t you answered. Then in a blink of an eye a sudden urge to read the word. God said to me, camie I asked you to pray for your enemies I asked you to love your enemies and trust in me that all things are possible through me. Camie I can not change someone just because you want me to. Camie he has to want it. He has to open his heart to me and surrender his dark ways so I can transform his ways into a man of Christ. So I said but God.. He has tried to come to you. He has prayed for a new life, he has walked his sufferings and tried to surrender to you. But God? But what camie? I am his creator and master I say when he lives and when he dies I know the number of times he has prayed and when he has cryed. “Be still” my daughter I am working on my time not yours . you see my daughter each person deserves their own individual spiritual treatment just because you can’t see what I am doing doesn’t mean I am not doing it. I have wiped his tears I have held him when he fell I carried him when he thought he couldn’t walk anymore. I weaped when he made mistakes but I didnt disappear. He is my son and I will carry him as far as he needs me to. But God? How can you be so sure? I mean I see him everyday he doesn’t seem any different he doesn’t care that he is so far gone from reality of facing his fears! and God he doesn’t care anymore. Camie : I know the numbers of hairs on his head I know the steps he will take before he even takes them. Dont you think your father god of all the land knows what he is doing . Do not be blinded by just what you see do not lean on your understanding for it is not your job to change him . but I need you only to continue to pray for him. “Wow wow”that conversation between God and I was a reality check you see my whole point is that we can’t change anyone . and its not that they dont Want to change. Its because with out God They cannot . God is the only one who can renew someone from the inside and out . It is beyond our knowledge to even begin to break a life time of patterns with out the spirit of God interfering in our daily life’s .So the best advice I can give is to pray for that person and stop draining your self,trying to change someone when its out of your control. Whether they know God or not. All we can do is pray and God will lead the rest. I suggest if someone is causing turmoil in your life. That you face that battle with bold determaintion and LET GO and LET God IN.
Many people struggle to find their soul mate. Many people are scared of commitment, many people are scared of not being good enough many people are scared of trusting others Many people have been hurt so badly they give up on the idea of love.But I ask you what dose love truly mean to you ? I’m not talking about those butterfly’s we get when our crush walks in the door I’m not talking about the sacrificies we make to please a loved one. Or the materialized possessions and jewels we Gift our significant ones with. Or the I do’s on the wedding day No I’m talking about The kinda of love that the bible teaches us about. The kinda love that Jesus gave us when he died for our sins. I’m talking about the kinda of love when your first child is born an placed in your arms. You see the word LOVE has been thrown around for thousands of years it has been trashed on, burned on and enjoyed and used like a broken record. I take the word love so serious that only my children and God hear it more then anyone. You see I gave myself to a man. A man of flesh an blood here on earth I gave him my all. My commitment,my loyalty my Body,my Heart, my life was dedicated to him and his happiness. I gave this man my trust, my most prized possessions. And you know what he did ? Failed me over & over & over again until the thought of suicide cross my mind. I actually considered harming myself over A man. A man who was lost himself a man who wasn’t capable of loving cause he didn’t love himself. A man who didnt know eternal love. So I carried on never trusting,caring for Love again. I told myself I was done I would never love again. At first i thought it was anger I was feeling then I realized it was Fear. Fear of being hurt again,fear of rejection because well after two kids and no real goal accomplishments and my body I let go. I thought a man will never love me this way. I’ll stop for just a second if you think this story ends like a fairy tale an I meet my true love well your right so hang tight. I feared so many things about love that I isolated myself from any connections to men. I purposely allowed my figure to go .I let my hair go so that I wouldn’t be any attraction to a man. I mean let’s face it I didnt pick them wisely. Anyways I feared so much I was sabotaging my mind my body and my soul. Until one day I wiped my tears away I shock my courage I stired my confidence. I dropped the self-pitty act. I stopped believeing that just because one or two even three bad relationships ruined my idea on true love.I wanted to find someone or something deeper then I ever felt before I wanted a love so pure so powerful that in words you couldn’t Speak. I wanted a love that could never weary me or bury me. I wanted the kind of love that just the feeling brings chills to your spine . so I knew as a kid I was always told if I lose myself if I feel like I can’t love myself no more. To dust off the old Bible and apply it to my self my Mind and my soul. I asked God to be my lord an savior for the third time in my life since the last two times I wasn’t nearly as serious as I am now. And you know what? Long story short but sweet, I found the love I was talking about I found the love that wakes you up in the morning I found the love that literally teaches you to love yourself . I found a love from A man who literally died for me. My soul my temple is being transformed into a new kick ass woman. A woman this time with the body of armor and a heart of gold. This time I have a eternal love leading me into the direction of a man. A man of flesh an blood that will be perfect for me. So you see dont be scared to love again dont be afraid to take chances on love. You should never give up trying to find the right love you need to replace that void that empty eko in your soul. Because you will find it. Maybe its not what you do got, But what you ain’t got ? I’m just saying it may not be for everyone but it will be for someone.
well for starters Im a Bible thumpin, Prayer jumpin, Jesus believing, Christ following. Kinda woman.FIRST I want to make one thing clear I’m not a religious person i do NOT like relgion. Im here for the Relationship. The infinity external love between a person and God I’m not here to tell you the commands, im here to tell you the promises. In my blog you will see my steps to walk with Christ you will watch my faith grow you will be inspired to make a difference. My purpose on this site is to help people grow and walk in faith. To share my testimonies and victories. TO give advice with the wisdom God is leading me with. I will share steps to retrain your mind to be transformed into a body of christ. I will share POEMS & Raps, yes! I said Raps I find the best way to express myself is communication with a beat. THIS may not be for everyone but it will be for someone. I’m not here to judge or pressure I am simply set here for those who need a guide . Thank you for following.
6 years has gone by and I’m still under attack will I ever go back as these walls start to cave in I watch as everyone passes by little do they know I’m dying inside alone stop breathing is all I can feel I try not to keep these thoughts captive but the devil inside allows it when will these walls shake when will these walls break closed in a cell it seems so close to reality but my feet won’t move I’m scared to live outside these rooms triggers are everywhere even in my sleep I cant escape these walls they have a hold on me people show their sympathy but I feel so alone trapped in a world I’ll never know they say you will be okay to push forward each day but I’m under attack how do you expect me not to look back you won’t come close to understanding where my mind has gone darkness is everywhere inside and out I feel like a shadow just moving about, you can see me and you can hear my shouts so please don’t ask me if I’m going to be ok because today and the next day I just fight to breathe to feel normal while I’m crawling on my knees you see there’s nothing more scarier than the thought of never being well trust me I’m a loose cannon ready to set sail. The doctors say to take this pill it’ll be okay but how can a pill fix me this way ? It cannot change my thoughts it cannot undo what is already locked you see the devil is out to destroy me and he’s more powerful than you think he’s got holds on me that I’m not sure will ever break why are these walls the only thing I see ? and why must I live with a caption on me? when can I be label free! ? and as these walls are closing in on me I have two choices “I can believe” I can choose death over life, I could be a victim to my own disguise let the torture build up inside or I can be set free because in God’s eyes he strengthens me you see the devil is a liar and he comes in Many masks being able to identify that is the true test. But God says take a hold of my words with all your heart keep my commands and you will live because through me is the beginning and the end and No weapon formed against me will prosper. With all the promises God gives how does the devil hide Within? You have but little faith if you choose to let the devil win he cannot void God’s promises he cannot change nor correct he can only feed off what we believe and if we believe we can’t if we believe in fear if we believe what battle we are facing is bigger than our God then our faith needs questioned. if you believe with all your heart and trust in God that all things are possible through him then Victory is right ahead. You see I speak from experience when my faith was not stronger than my fear. I questioned all things through Christ even though he never disappeared I’m not saying it won’t be rough I’m saying if you trust enough your enemy will flee your worries we’ll be set free you just have to believe because when the devil said you can’t live! my God said you can’t die! and even though their are lies that echo in our minds there is still hope inside. I want you to picture this you’re trapped in a room with four walls that surround you there’s no way to get out the only thing you see and hear are the devils shouts you see, but if there is a way in their is always a way out just because the devil lured you in doesn’t mean you’re stuck there till the end you must fight and trust in God like Daniel did when he was thrown in a lion’s den he trusted and prayed and believed God would rescue him and after days in the den no harm came to him God shut the mouths of lions and rescued him just like that room you’re filled in with torture (I speak on the torture in your mind). If you believe in Christ then he will shut the mouth of the enemy and he will rescue you again and again because No matter what battle you face No matter where you are placed God will deliver you with just a little bit of faith.